I guess I'm not much of a blogger...I sure don't update this thing very much! I've been struggling putting into words how I'm feeling lately, maybe that's why? After what the professionals call a "disrupted adoption plan" (birth parents changed their mind), I've been asked the question on more than a few occasions, "How are you doing?" and my response is always the text book answer. I'm ok...we're ok....God is good...He has a plan....trusting that the child we're meant to have is still out there somewhere, etc. It's almost like a broken record in my head on constant repeat. I guess the best way I can think to describe it is...I feel like a deflated balloon. This wonderful, story book build up to the happy ending that was at my finger tips and then someone let the air out and I'm back where I was before. Phew! Is it ok to say I'm ticked? Is it ok to say I'm sick of this? How about that I'm really tired of waiting? Or...when is it my turn? Can I say...yes I'm ok and life goes on but boy am I tired of this journey? I guess we're allowed to feel those things right? People keep telling me it's ok to be mad...but I'm not MAD, I'm just ready for the happy ending already! This month marks 4 years we've been on this journey of pregnancy, miscarriages, fertility and now adoption. Am I a different person today then 4 years ago, yes! Have I learned a great deal about myself, my opportunities to grow and my God, yes! Am I going to give up, NO! Kate is the strong one right?
Thank you all for your prayers and wonderful words of encouragement! I figured this blog was the best way to get our thanks out to everyone at once. We really are humbled to know how many were praying last week, it's actually very overwhelming. We are blessed to have such amazing people in our lives!!
So here we go again...moving forward! A friend passed along this quote that actually seems fitting right now.
"Everything will be okay in the end...if it's not okay, it's not the end!"
At the end of the day my go-to text book answer is TRUTH! God is in control and His plan is best so we will wait and trust Him. We are blessed beyond what we deserve already!
