Disrutped Adoption Plan

I guess I'm not much of a blogger...I sure don't update this thing very much!  I've been struggling putting into words how I'm feeling lately, maybe that's why?  After what the professionals call a "disrupted adoption plan" (birth parents changed their mind), I've been asked the question on more than a few occasions, "How are you doing?" and my response is always the text book answer.  I'm ok...we're ok....God is good...He has a plan....trusting that the child we're meant to have is still out there somewhere, etc.  It's almost like a broken record in my head on constant repeat.  I guess the best way I can think to describe it is...I feel like a deflated balloon.  This wonderful, story book build up to the happy ending that was at my finger tips and then someone let the air out and I'm back where I was before.  Phew!  Is it ok to say I'm ticked?  Is it ok to say I'm sick of this?  How about that I'm really tired of waiting?  Or...when is it my turn?  Can I say...yes I'm ok and life goes on but boy am I tired of this journey?  I guess we're allowed to feel those things right?  People keep telling me it's ok to be mad...but I'm not MAD, I'm just ready for the happy ending already!  This month marks 4 years we've been on this journey of pregnancy, miscarriages, fertility and now adoption.  Am I a different person today then 4 years ago, yes!  Have I learned a great deal about myself, my opportunities to grow and my God, yes!  Am I going to give up, NO!  Kate is the strong one right? 

Thank you all for your prayers and wonderful words of encouragement!  I figured this blog was the best way to get our thanks out to everyone at once.  We really are humbled to know how many were praying last week, it's actually very overwhelming.  We are blessed to have such amazing people in our lives!!

So here we go again...moving forward!  A friend passed along this quote that actually seems fitting right now. 

"Everything will be okay in the end...if it's not okay, it's not the end!" 

At the end of the day my go-to text book answer is TRUTH!  God is in control and His plan is best so we will wait and trust Him.  We are blessed beyond what we deserve already!

PROFILE IS DONE! - ALL THANKS TO LITA!

Praise the Lord....the adoption profile is done!  WOO, HOO!!!  Isn't it awesome...if I do say so myself!  I can't even begin to express my gratitude to one of my best friends Lita for her help and creative juices that I SO needed to get this job done!  God used her, her creativity and heart to create the very thing that will start our journey to being parents!  The profile is what the birth mothers see first, before ever meeting us!

Lita - You are amazing at stuff like this, THANK YOU for helping us my goddess of the night!  :)  I love you so much!  BIG HUG from me to you! 

 

Thanks Mom!

Ever have one of those days when you just need your mom?  You know...when you're having "a moment" and need that one set of ears that's attached to that one heart that knows you in a way no one else does?  Just something about a mothers heart, her voice, that can calm the stirring storm within and before you know it, you're good again!  The moment passes and all is well. 

I think God loves the relationship between a mother & a child in a very unique way, a way that almost doesn't need words?  Are you grateful for your mom?  I am!  She's my rock on the stormiest of days and can somehow calm the sea just enough to allow enough room for God to swoop in and do His thing in my life!  I don't even think she knows that...

As we prepare for Holy week leading up to Easter Sunday - the day of new beginnings, will you thank God for your mom?  The way she loves you like no one else can?  Will you tell her? 

Mom, I thank God for you today!  You're going to be the BEST Grandma in the whole world someday!  Thank you for journeying with me...for NEVER hesitating to come with me to the lowest of lows and soaring with me through the blessings that have come from the pain.  I hope to make you proud as a mommy!  I am blessed!

Adoption....what's the point?

Adoption....what's the point?  Is it to try and get a child who's birthmother did the least amount of drugs, drank as little as possible, took care of her body as much as I would have?  Is she taking her pre-natal vitamin everyday and avoiding blue cheese & lunch meat like I would?  Not to mention, no caffine!!  Is the point to try and get a baby that resembles me or Mark, or get as close to it as possible?  Brown hair & blue eyes please!  For some, YES and I can understand that!!  For us, not really.  Hmmm...what does adoption mean really?  Why 4 years of fertility and 7 miscarriages only to throw in the towel and adopt?  Why all that struggle and pain?  To know then what I know now right?  Well, we are beginning to see and experience what adoption can really be about.  We are content trusting God to bring us the child we are meant to have, the child we will have the privilege to raise in our home that honors the Lord and loves people.  The little soul that belongs with us and who we've been waiting for!  Could that child have difficulties in life due to the prenatal care they received or lack there of?  Maybe, probably?  Are we up for the challenge, I think so!  I happen to have an amazing husband who's open to the Lord in ways I don't even comprehend most days.  Only God knows the future and you know what.....that's ok with me!  In the meantime, we're taking our pre-adoptive classes learning things that are opening our minds and hearts to all the possibilities.  I joke to my friends who have kids.....by the end of this process I'll be so trained as a parent and will have a pamphlet for everything!  :)  Thanks for journeying with us! 

What Chapter are you in?

LOVE this devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries!  Enjoy!

"... your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Psalm 139:1(NIV)

I recently finished a bestselling novel. It was over 1,000 pages, epic in size and story, and consumed me for weeks. A respected acquaintance recommended it, and once committed, I stuck with it to the end ... in spite of wanting to quit, often.
By the end of the first chapter, I realized it wasn't going to be an easy read. The story was set in the middle ages, with uncomfortably real sections. Perhaps I'm a bit sheltered, but it seemed to contain unnecessarily graphic descriptions. Skimming over the uncomfortable spots, I kept reading.
The book ended well, but there were times when I was ready to close the cover, and move on to something happier. The antagonists were just too mean. The plot too painful. The abuse, greed and vindictiveness too ugly to dwell on.
If that book ended badly, I would have been disgruntled at spending weeks of my life on it. On the other hand, I would have been frustrated to quit before finishing. Here's why.
If I had quit reading at page 245, the story would have seemed hopeless. I might have thought the villains won, or the hero and heroine never reconnected.  If I had read a bit further, to say page 576, the story would have ended with justice as an impossible dream, and hatred and revenge as unavoidable and all-consuming parts of life.
But now, after reading the book in its entirety, I can see the amazing story. The plot progressed steadily; there was tension, conflict and eventually resolution. Good did triumph, although not without many bumps along the way.
It got me thinking that our lives are a bit like that. For those of us who have accepted Christ, we will have a happy ending in heaven with God. One way or another, our story will end well. But not every page or chapter in our story is happy.
Today might be page 452 for me. And on page 452 there is conflict and tension. Last year might have been chapter nine. And in chapter nine, the protagonists struggle financially, and wonder why God allowed such pain into their lives. If I only read one page or chapter, I would have a very different view of the story.
Yet the Author of my story has a purpose for every page and chapter in my life. He’s got a story in mind and is building and developing the plot every day. No story is conflict-free. No story is complete without a challenge. Victory is empty without a struggle.
Today, I’m considering my life as a grand story. Good will triumph. The victory will be sweeter because of the struggle. Today is not the story. It’s just page 452. So I will press on, trusting in a loving and creative Author to bring about resolution. You see, I already know the ending – she lives happily ever after.

Dear Lord, I praise You for Your creative and all-powerful nature. In light of the difficulties I'm facing today, I choose to trust You, believing You are writing an epic story in my life. Help me to press on when I want to give up. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Sanfilippo WON!

Thank you all for voting and being part of the CURE!

PRESS RELEASE

PRESS RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Jan 22-Jan 31


Save a child’s life with a simple vote.

The Boyce family, Beach Park, IL, received news no parent wants to hear Oct 09. Both children, Jayden, 4, and Brooklyn, 1, will die from a rare genetic disorder in their teen years, called Sanfilippo. Sanfilippo (MPSIIIA) currently has no treatment or cure. Their little bodies can’t break down hephran sulphate, a sugar the body naturally makes and stores primarily in the central nervous system and brain. Over time, their bodies loose all function and developmentally they never progress past the age of two. Because of the rare nature of the disease, effecting 1 in 70,000 children, it is not profitable for pharmaceutical companies to invest in research. It becomes the sole responsibility of loved ones to raise money for research. However, the Boyce’s are part of a parent organization, Team Sanfilippo Foundation, who is currently in the running for a $250,000 grant through the Pepsi Refresh Project to fund gene therapy research.

There are three ways to vote and you can help the family by simply casting votes and telling friends to do the same.

Text 105582 to the number 73774.

Go to www.refresheverything.com/curesanfilippo . Create a profile and vote with all e-mail and facebook accounts you have.

You can also search refresh everything on facebook.

Voting ends January 31, at midnight. To learn more about the Boyce family, visit http://www.buildwiththeboyces.com/